Throughout the past year, they celebrated milestones at a distance, such as a car parade on Mother’s Day, which coincided with Rosalee Wells’ 93rd birthday.
He hopes her 94th birthday this May can be celebrated differently.

In the past year, they’ve had phone conversations and attempted using video technology, but a window visit did not go well.

“Early on, we went and sat outside her window. She could not understand why we wouldn’t come in. She’d say, ‘Why aren’t you coming in to see me?’” he said. “For people with dementia, there’s this whole added element of confusion and uncertainty and difficulty.”

After the first couple of times trying a window visit, they stopped, he said.

“That was worse than not seeing her at all,” Wells said. “You’d see all of these pictures in the newspaper of these cutesy window visits. Well, they weren’t so cute to us, because they confused my mother even more.”

The past year has been “catastrophic” for people in long-term care, who have mostly been socially isolated, said Lauren Zingraff, executive director for the nonprofit Friends of Residents in Long-Term Care.

“In many cases, they have essentially been in their rooms by themselves. The only contact they’ve had has been with staff members who have been wearing PPE and masks to bring them meal trays three times a day,” Zingraff said, referring to personal protective equipment.

A few months into the pandemic, Zingraff said, people started noticing changes in their loved ones, such as increases in depression or anxiety. Some residents stopped eating and drinking.

“They would verbally share, ‘Why am I even alive?’” Zingraff said.

While the new guidance is giving hope to family members weary of the separation, there are some limitations.

Facilities should limit visitation if the county’s positivity rate is higher than 10% and fewer than 70% of residents are fully vaccinated, if any residents have a confirmed COVID-19 infection, or if the resident is in quarantine, according to federal guidance from the Centers of Medicare and Medicaid Services and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Before trying to visit a loved one, people need to call the facility first, said Adam Sholar, president and CEO of the N.C Health Care Facilities Association, which represents nearly 400 skilled nursing centers.

As community spread of the virus escalated and then peaked two or three months ago, Sholar said, “those restrictions were important to try to minimize the impact that community spread had on that nursing facility.”

Though cases are on the decline, nursing homes and other facilities are still fighting the coronavirus.

“We are still in the midst of this pandemic,” Sholar said. “This is still an extremely deadly virus. There is still not an insignificant amount of COVID circulating in the community. The direction is still to adhere to the core principles of infection control, which include masks and social distancing… This is not a return to pre-COVID visitation.”

While it wasn’t exactly like their pre-pandemic visits, Wells’ visit with his mother exceeded his expectations.

Despite concerns about awkward or hesitant moments, “it was wonderful,” Wells said. “Absolutely wonderful. We had a great time. It’s hard to imagine that a trip to the dentist could be so much fun.

“I was on the phone with my sister telling her about it. What was most striking was the sense of normalcy. I dropped her off at the facility a year ago and picked her up today, and we started right where we left off.”

Comments