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The Voice of the Black Community

Life and Religion

What your Valentine’s Day gift says about your relationship
What you give and receive speaks volumes
 
Published Thursday, February 13, 2014
by Michaela L. Duckett

What you give or receive as a gift this year for Valentine’s Day could say a lot about the status of your relationship. That’s according to George Moufarrej, author of the book “Sexual Euphoria.

Moufarrej said the gifts we give and receive to our sweethearts are tokens to express our love and appreciation. So they are often chosen with care.

“When a person picks a gift for his partner, subconsciously he’s sending a message,” he said. “For example, if the couple has been dating for a while and the man gives the woman something like underwear from Victoria’s Secret, he’s giving her the message that he wants to make the relationship sexual. If the relationship is already sexual, then he’s giving her the message that he wants a more active sex life. If a woman gives a man underwear as a gift, then she’s giving the same message to him.”

He said gifts marked with the words “I Love You” or “Be mine” could show a little jealousy.

“The person is trying to show other people that the other person is taken,” he said. “It’s subconsciously showing off to other people that she’s taken and to stay away from her.”

After months of research, interviews and consulting with other experts, Moufarrej believes he has Valentine’s Day gift giving down to a science.

If you receive a bottle of wine or alcohol, Moufarrej said that is a sign that your partner wants to have more fun. A new phone could mean you need to call more often. If you live alone and receive a gift of furniture, watch out. It could mean your partner is enjoying spending time with you so much, he or she may be moving in soon. A watch is two-fold. It might mean be more punctual or it could mean that it’s time to take things to the next level.

Clothing as a gift also holds meaning. It could mean it’s time to step up your style game. If a woman gives her man a suit, it could mean she wants him to dress up more. However if she gives him a casual outfit, she could be saying she wants him to relax and stop being so uptight. Ladies, if your man gives you an outfit that’s a little more conservative than your taste, it could mean that your man thinks you are showing too much skin and wants to see you tone it down. I

Receiving cookware could mean your partner wants you to cook more often or get some lessons to improve on your skills.

As for “bad” gifts, Mourfarrej said there are none. Regardless of whether or not you like what you receive, he believes you should be grateful that someone took the time and put in the thought to get you something.

“Appreciate it and be thankful about it,” he said. “It’s better to get something than nothing at all.”

Need some help selecting a gift that sends the right message? Consider these suggestions from Mourfarrej:

FOR HER…

If a couple just started dating, the best gifts for the man to give the woman are a teddy bear, flowers, or any item with the words "I love you" inscribed on it.  This is because the man is showing off his infatuation with the woman to other people. Symbolically he is showing others that she is taken.  

If the couple has been dating for several months and is getting more serious, the best gift for the man to give the woman is a weekend getaway. It relaxes the couple and adds passion to their relationship.  Symbolically the man is telling the woman I enjoy being romantically involved with you, and I want to heighten those romantic feelings between us.

If the couple has been dating seriously for over a year, the best gift for the man to give the woman is diamond earrings.  Since the relationship is getting serious the man needs to show the woman that he values her and the relationship by giving her something of value that lasts for a long time. Diamond earrings are the closest gift to a ring, which symbolizes that marriage is in the future.

If the couple is married, the best gift for the man to give the woman is a diamond ring. He is giving her something of great value and that lasts forever. This shows that he values all the years that he has spent with her, and all the years they have yet to spend together. The diamond ring is symbolic of their eternal undying love for each other.

FOR HIM…

The best gift for a woman to give a man in a brand new relationship is chocolate. Chocolate is a sweet aphrodisiac. When the woman gives the man chocolate she is showing the man that she is sweet and wants more pleasure in the relationship.  Since chocolate is an aphrodisiac symbolically the woman is telling the man that she is sexually attracted to him. 

If the couple has been dating for several months, the best gift for the woman to give the man is cologne. It is an intimate gift and shows the man that she wants to be intimate with him. Symbolically it means that she is going to be dating and smelling him for a while.

The best gift for the woman to give the man if the relationship is serious is a gold watch.  Since the relationship is getting serious the woman needs to show the man that she values the relationship by giving him something of value. The watch also symbolizes the passage of time, which is very important for a woman who wants the relationship to move to the next level as quickly as possible. 

If the couple is married, the best gift for the woman to give the man is a diamond ring.  This reminds the man of the day he proposed to her and reignites the romance and passion in the relationship.  It symbolizes renewing their marriage vows to each other. 

Comments

Women should received something, simply because we give more of ourselves everyday of the year. Especially if they are married. We give birth, work in and outside the home; preparing meals, cleaning house, raising our family and everything else that is expected. Something to think about, uh!
Posted on February 16, 2014
 

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