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PHOTO/CALVIN FERGUSON

Ron Howard of Charlotte lobbied for and won shared custody of his daughter.

It’s the most-argued decision in divorces: Who gets the kids?

A Charlotte group is looking to change the legal standard for custody after couples split.

“We want to have parents come to court with a parenting plan in hand that gives them an opportunity to maximize relationship with both parents, but if they are unable to agree the default is the presumption that they will have an equal relationship with both parents,” said Mike McCormick, executive director, American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

Kids Interest equals Dual Support is the name of the grassroots group.

“Currently, the custody standard is “in the child’s best interest,” but all studies show that having two parents is ‘in the child’s best interest,’ and the mother gets primary custody about 85 percent of the time,” said Sheila Peltzer, a retired teacher and KIDS president.

Studies show that father absence, whether voluntary or forced, contributes to a higher incidence of teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, poor academic performance, and other negative socio-economic consequences.

“It would seem then, that sole maternal custody, where dad gets relegated to mere visitor status, is not in the best interest of any child,” KIDS’ online petition states.  “A father is more than a wallet to his child.”

Tina Reiriz, KIDS vice president, who is divorced and shares custody with her ex-husband, started the online petition for legislators to create a bill making 50/50 the presumptive custody standard unless a parent is proven to be “unfit.” At the time, her boyfriend was going through a divorce which she said cost him about $350,000.

Peltzer, whose son went through his own custody battle for his kids, two of whom have  familial dysautonomia, a rare genetic disorder, and now has visiting rights about every other weekend, found the petition online. She decided to join her effort, and KIDS was born two years ago. The group holds monthly meetings with speakers for their members.

“My grandchildren have been away from their father with him only having visiting rights for the past two and a half years, and it will probably be another year before this passes,” Peltzer said. “At this point, it’s not about what my son is going through with his children. It’s about the notes I get from these parents who say we need to help future children, and my grandsons when they become fathers I wouldn’t want this to happen to them.”

Peltzer added that they went up to Raleigh last March to lobby in person at the state legislature. Sen. Eleanor Kinnaird, D-Orange, said that she remembers the group approaching her last year. “Usually it’s the fathers who have lost custody and really want to change this so they don’t have that presumption that the mother has the child,” Kinnaird said. “In North Carolina, we don’t have that presumption theoretically, but I think quite often in practice it turns out to be the other way around.”

Still Angelina Maletto, a local family law practitioner, who has represented primarily black males, said that the law does not need to change. “I think that their efforts need to be directed in a different way because what the law allows is for the judge to act in the best interest of the child,” she said. “Here in Mecklenburg County we have extraordinarily compassionate, and considerate, and astute judges, and the default position is often joint legal custody, and 50/50 joint physical custody if it works for the parents and children,” she added. “What needs to be done is more people need to understand both lawyers and non-lawyers that there are fathers who are actively involved in their child’s lives and are not willing to settle for alternate weekends.”

A 2006 Census report showed that 5 of 6 custodial parents were mothers – 83.8 percent – proportions that are not significantly different than in 1994. Black children were more than twice as likely as their white peers to live with their custodial parent while the other parent lived outside their household. Twenty percent of black single mothers are divorced, and 62 percent have never been married, according to a 2003 study on America’s Families and Living Arrangements, suggesting that black single mothers were most likely to never have been married.

“The number one problem we have especially in the African-American community is too many young black boys that are fatherless,” said Tim McKyer, a former Carolina Panther who has become an advocate for fathers’ rights. In 2007, he spoke at a Family Preservation Day Rally in Washington, D.C., where he compared the struggle for shared parenting to the civil rights movement.  McKyer is divorced and appealing for custody of his two sons. He lost custody in 2004.

“(Charlotte Judge) Rebecca Tin decided mommy gets the children,” he said. “The best interest of the children is a storefront for the moms. They don’t care what’s best for them kids, but they’re going to protect their mommas and make the men pay.”

Tin could not comment while McKyer’s case is still active due to judicial ethics standards.

“I think the reason it’s especially a problem for African Americans is we don’t have the resources to fight in family court,” said Vada Whitaker, a divorced parent. “The average cost is $25,000 for a custody case.” He added that another challenge in the black community is that “the system still believes that we are a matriarchal society so that’s what they support.”

Ron Howard, who managed to get 50/50 custody with his daughter, switching two days on and two days off, said time with her is valuable.
“It’s very important to have a more positive and consistent role than just every other weekend,” he said.

On the Net:
Kids Interest equals
Dual Support
www.kidsinterestequalsdualsupport.org

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