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The Voice of the Black Community

Life and Religion

Kiss & Tell: To dip back or not to dip back
 
Published Wednesday, January 2, 2013 3:30 pm
by Michaela L. Duckett

While many of us are busy making New Year’s resolutions about everything from launching new businesses to losing weight and giving up

https://asoft181.securesites.net/secure/charlottepost/clientuploads/wb_Michaela-Duckett.gif
Kiss & Tell: Michaela L. Duckett

certain vices, a lot of us need to be resolving to let go of some old relationships that should have fizzled with 2012 or maybe even long before.

Take my friend Carmen for example. For the past six or seven years, she’s been crazy over this guy she met at work named Jackson. They’ve been dating off and on since then.

One week they are together and talking marriage and the next they hate each other’s guts. One minute she’s telling me how great he is and how lucky she is to have him. The next she’s reaching for her Louisville Slugger and on her way to bust out his car windows.

clientuploads/wb_kiss-tell.gifA couple of weeks ago, I met up with Carmen and a couple of friends for drinks and wings in Mount Holly. Carmen told us she and Jackson were back on. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would last this time.

“I just think he’s the one,” she said. “I know we have our problems, but I’ve never met another man that makes me feel the way that he does. We just have this chemistry that I can’t explain.”

Now mind you, just three months ago she was telling me that she was never going to speak to Jackson again.

Apparently, he had stood her up for a date and didn’t bother to call her for three days. When he did call, he gave her some excuse about getting caught up at work and not being able to come.

Then, the following week, her mother invited them both over for dinner. He stood her up again. This time he embarrassed her in front of her entire family and once again did not call. Not only was he a no-call, no-show, he also turned his phone off so she couldn’t call him.

Carmen was infuriated. When she finally got a hold of him and gave him a piece of her mind, he called her an “insane, angry, bitter, (expletive)!”

They have had plenty of arguments, but this was the first time he’s ever called her out of her name. She said it would be the last and vowed to never speak to him again. She didn’t for about three months, and now here we are again.

“I know I said that I was through and that it was over for the last time,” she said. “But I just can’t stay away from him. He’s like my drug. I’m addicted. I just can’t help it.

“He just called me up out of the blue and told me how much he wanted to be with me. He came over to my place and we sat out in his truck and talked for like two hours. He told me that he knew he messed up by always putting his work before me. It was the first time that he’s ever admitted he was wrong.  I just feel like I should give him another chance.”

Personally, I don’t get it. Carmen is gorgeous. She’s one of those women who other women want to be and all the guys want to be with. Yet, she acts like Jackson is the only man in the world.

As Carmen is telling me and Nessa, who is also seated at the booth with us, about her reunion with Jackson, I notice our girl Keisha walk in.

It’s hard to miss Keisha. She has the biggest butt I’ve ever seen in life. It is stupid-dumb thick and all that rapper 2 Chainz wants for his birthday. Her measurements must be something like 34-24-48, and she is proud of every inch.

As she turns the corner, I see a girl at one of the tables across from us giving her date a stern look and appearing to kick him under the table after catching him take a gander at Keisha’s big booty. I swear her behind should have it’s own theme music, but I digress.

The dip back

Of all my girlfriends, Keisha, is the one who dates most like a man. Whereas most women tend to make decisions about their relationships based on what they feel in their heart, Keisha makes her moves based on logic. She thinks with her head, not her heart. She’s not one to really get into her feelings.

“I just can’t do the dip back,” she says after hearing about Carmen and Jackson.

Nessa starts laughing hysterically.

“The dip what?” she asks before letting out another burst of laughter. “Who are you supposed to be? Mama D from ‘Love and Hip Hop?’”

“Whatever,” quips Keisha. “I’m just saying I don’t do the dip back. Once I’m done with a guy, I’m done. Whatever you left behind when you broke up is the same thing you are going to find when you come back. It wasn’t what you wanted before, and it’s still not going to be the second time around. That’s like trading in an old car because it’s giving you trouble and getting the same old car. You will still have the same old trouble. It’s a waste of time.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” Nessa countered while eating her wings with a fork. “Just look at me and Andre. This time around, our love is so much better than before.”

Andre is Nessa’s fiancé. They have a 4-year-old son. They broke up right after their son was born because Nessa said that Andre did not want to grow up and take care of his responsibility. They got back together about a year ago and plan to get married this spring.

“Our time apart made a world of difference,” she said. “Sometimes you just have to give men the space and time they need to do what they need to do. He had to grow up and realize how much our family meant to him. He is a totally different person then he was then. Now, he appreciates me so much more. I’m glad I gave him another chance. I’m all for the dip back.”

A happy New Year

On New Year’s Day, I got a call from Carmen.

“I hate him!” she yelled as soon as I answered.

“Can you believe he stood me up last night?” Actually I did believe it, but I didn’t dare say that.

“I’m never talking to him again!”

Now, that, I don’t believe.

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