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The Voice of the Black Community

Life and Religion

Charlotte couple vows no sex before marriage
She’s a virgin. He’s OK with waiting
 
Published Thursday, October 11, 2012 8:28 am
by Michaela L. Duckett

Cameo Crumby, 27, had been courting Crystal Carson, 23, for nearly a month when she told him she was a virgin and had no plans to have sex before marriage.

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PHOTO/CALVIN FERGUSON
Cameo Crumby, 27, and Crystal Carson, 23, agree to no sex before marriage. Carson said it was a relief when Crumby did not lose interest when she told him she’s a virgin.


“I let him know that it just wasn’t going to happen,” she says.


It was a conversation Carson’s had with other guys, but they were not willing to wait.


“For me, if a guy can’t wait then that’s all he’s around for,” she says. “I just let them go because it has to be more than that. What makes me different from any other girl?”


Carson says it was a relief when Crumby did not lose interest when she laid her cards out on the table.


“Some guys would run when they hear that,” Crumby says. “I thought it was attractive. I like that she has morals. It made me want to be with her even more. It’s a good feeling to know that you are going to be her first, her last and her only.”


A vision of beauty
The couple met at Central Piedmont Community College in 2010.


Crumby was faxing some papers in the student life office when he spotted Carson walking by with a group of her friends. He was instantly drawn to her and had to know her name.


He asked the student advisor, who not only gave him the answer but also told him that Carson was running for student government office. Needless to say, she had his vote.


The next day was Spring Fest –when school organizations and student government candidates set up booths and distribute information.
Knowing Carson would be there, Crumby showed up and made his way over to her booth. He was hoping to get her phone number. Instead, he walked away with her email address scribbled on the back of a flyer.


“I still have that flyer to this day,” he says.


She’s the one
Armed with her email address, Crumby engaged in a little “cyber-stalking.”


He became Facebook friends with Carson and began strategically showing up in places where he knew she’d be. Seeing her post on Facebook that she was having a night out with the girls, he inquired where they were going.


He showed up there with his boys and spent the night looking for her. He found Carson talking to another guy. Confidently, he walked up and interrupted the conversation.


He found out that she was running in a 5k that Saturday. He signed up and ran as well. He completed the run before Carson. When she crossed the finish line, he was there waiting with a bottle of Gatorade.


He finally got her number and asked her out on a date.


“On our first date, I knew I didn’t want to be with anyone else,” he recalls. “I told her that night. I had made up my mind.”


Friends with benefits
The couple says postponing sex has made their relationship stronger.


“It’s good to know that our relationship is not just based on sex,” Crumby says. “A lot of relationships are, and once that goes, the relationship goes. With or without [sex], we know that we are still good. We can still hang out and have fun… We have built a different type of bond.”


The couple says that although marriage is certainly in their future, they are in no rush to the altar. They are focusing on their education and careers.


Carson is heavily involved in politics and on track to receive a degree in public health from UNC Charlotte in 2014.


Crumby is also a student at UNCC. He is studying organizational communications and will graduate in December. In addition to modeling and acting, he works in management at Sports Connection.


“I can see us getting married in the future,” Crumby says. “But we have to take care of our individual priorities first.”


Carson adds that they also want to give themselves time to mature and get to know each other better.


“We want to grow together,” she says. “We know each other, but we need to get to really know each as times get hard and we change because we are going to change... We want to make sure that we can work past all of our problems and make sure that the people that will inevitably be, can work together and make each other stronger.”


Crumby and Carson say they also want to take time to mature spiritually.


“It’s about building a relationship with God,” says Crumby. “We go to church every Sunday… We grow together that way. That’s what is going to keep us together.”

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