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Ebony Magazine's 2012 Couple of the Year to host Charlote book signing
 
Published Thursday, April 11, 2013
by Michaela L. Duckett

Rufus and Jenny Triplett, Ebony magazine’s 2012 Couple of the Year, have been busy canvassing the country doling out marriage advice.

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WWW.SURVIVINGMARRIAGETIPS.COM
Rufus and Jenny Triplett. Ebony Magazine's Couple of the Year, will be in Charlotte April 15.

They’ve hosted workshops, appeared on television and have been featured in numerous publications. In February, they released a book “Surviving Marriage in the 21st Century.”

The Tripletts will be at UNC-Charlotte April 15 to sign copies of their new book and host a candid discussion about relationships.

“Surviving Marriage” is a compilation of 13 tips they believe can help married couples make it to 20 years and beyond without divorce, just as they have.

The Post recently caught up with the Tripletts to discuss everything from shacking up and cheating to submission and weight gain. Here’s how they weighed in:

On making marriage look easy:

Jenny Triplett: “Don’t believe everything that you see (laughter). Marriage is hard work, but we’ve been doing it so long that we’ve gotten over so many of the hurdles. We’ve gotten to a point where we know how to be easy in our happy place, but trust me, it wasn’t always like this… Our first year of marriage was hell. It was really, really ugly.”

Rufus Triplett: “You were in hell, but I was good to go. You just couldn’t get with the program (laughter).”

On dealing with infidelity:

RT: “I ain’t dealing with it. I know people who have and if you can get past it, then that’s good for you. It’s all about marriage and dealing with other people’s faults.”

JT: “If you choose to stay and get past the infidelity, don’t constantly bring it up and throw it up in someone’s face every time something breaks out.”

RT: “You have to move on. But some couples just can’t get past it, so you have to move on without each other.”

JT: “There are so many factors. Sometimes it’s a one-night stand. Sometimes it’s multiple infidelities over a period of time. Some people can get over one time…”

RT: “So do I get one time?”

JT: “No. I’m not talking about us, I’m talking about people.”

On putting God first:

JT: “There has to be a referee. If you have two people and you have disagreements or you’re at odds, there has to be a third party with recourse. So you take all matters back to God. No matter what your faith is and what you believe, take it back to that book. There is something in there in regards to your marriage and your disagreement. You have to take it back to that and trust and believe that God knows what He’s talking about.”

On a wife’s submission:

JT: “I’m a Muslim, but I grew up Baptist. I was in the church… And growing up that way it was always taught that a married woman is supposed to follow her husband. A single woman is to please God, and a married woman is to please her husband. I’ve always tried to do that unless my husband has some knucklehead ways that he was thinking and trying to go. I’m not going to follow a knucklehead. He had to have some type of guidance and a good head on his shoulders.

“If he’s doing everything that he’s supposed to be doing, providing for me and protecting me and encouraging me, then what’s the problem [with submitting]? There are a lot of problems in marriage because a lot of women don’t do that.”

On living together before marriage:

JT: “We don’t believe in that at all.”

On weight gain and divorce:

JT: “We wouldn’t get divorced over it.”

RT: “She can eat if she want to, and we’ll just have to see what the outcome is… No. I don’t think you should divorce over it. I think you should give words of encouragement if you would like your mate’s health to improve, but you can’t control the other person. As a married couple, that’s something you deal with… God tests us big time with marriage, and sometimes the weight gain is a test.”

JT: “I think it’s really shallow to get divorced over that. A lot of people have weight issues because they are emotionally depressed or their hormones are out of whack. There are different things that can be going on.”

Advice to aspiring authors:

RT: “Write the truth. Don’t try to make stuff seem so fairy tale.”

JT: “Write what you are passionate about. If you have something that is really on your mind and really in your heart and you want to get it out there. Write that. Don’t try to go out and find the curve of what is selling.”

RT: “I’d like to see more authors write about things that may benefit others. I’d like to see a lot more of that.”

On the Net:

www.survivingmarriagetips.com

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